Quiet hands

When my husband points out it's been a while since I blogged, you know it's been a while. :-)

Don't worry, I've recovered from my son's disappearing act. (His being out of town, and thus, out of physical reach for a week is probably helping on that front.)

No, instead, I've been having a hand issue that is keeping me from doing much of anything, not to mention typing or writing. Not a good thing for me. So, I've been attempting to contemplate the universe through my other senses for the last week or so and give my hand a rest in hopes of preventing permanent damage.

Plus, even the girls, who were not out of town, acted pretty normal this week. What is the world coming to?

Speechless, and therefore, title-less

What do you do with an 18-year-old who thinks he is invincible, yet has a heart bigger than just about anyone you know?

My son makes me want to laugh and cry and applaud and wring his neck all at the same time. (And that's just the first four verbs I thought of....there are many more lurking behind them.)

This kid couldn't sleep last night, so at 6 this morning, he took off in his raggedy brown Goodwill shorts, a dirty white t-shirt, and his walking stick. No shoes, no i.d., nothing. He walked for three hours. Down through the middle of our larger town into the smaller one where our church and schools reside. He didn't tell me when he left or where he was going, and so by 11, I was in an absolute panic. His wallet, i.d., money, car, GUITAR (his most prized possession) were all here and his alarm had been going off for more than an hour when I went upstairs to "wake him up" and discovered all this.

An hour later, he walked in with my mother, who had driven him home from the church. He'd arrived there at 9 and slept a few hours until she was ready to come home from her volunteer work there. (And she didn't know I didn't know where he was, so didn't call and tell me...and of course the phones at the church weren't working for some reason when I called her to see if she knew where he was.)

Apparently in the course of his walk, he was stopped by a couple of the small town police officers, who questioned him, made sure he wasn't drinking (wouldn't YOU?), called in his i.d. number to be sure he wasn't wanted (thank goodness he knew the number), and then, because they couldn't think of any other reason to hold on to him, let him go on.

His answer to all this?

He wanted to know what it felt like to be homeless and wandering.

What do you do with a kid like this besides all the verbs I already mentioned?

Sometimes it's hard to be a mother.

Are you waiting for your real life to begin?

Or are you already living it?

WAITING FOR MY REAL LIFE TO BEGIN
Album : "Going Somewhere"
(written by: Colin Hay / Thom Mooney)
Colin Hay

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, oh, so very soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

On a clear day, I can see
See it for a long way...
On a clear day, I can see
See it for a long way...

Girls are gross

Ryan--my son, recent high school graduate and rare wearer of footgear--helped out in vacation Bible school at our church this week. He says the grownups like it because he sits with the bad boys at dinner and keeps them under control. He came home tonight and reported this conversation with a 10-year-old.

Boy: I kissed my girlfriend. I kissed her like 9 times. On the lips.
Ryan: You like girls? Girls are gross.
Boy: You think girls are gross? You're gay. No, wait. You're a communist.

Miss Communication

(Or Missus Communication, if you wanna get technical)

So, yesterday was a day of communication meltdown for me. Not in a drastic or terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day kind of way. Almost funny, really. Really funny, in some respects.

Started out by trying to get info by phone on taking a guest to my local place of workout torture. I'm not naming any names, because they resolved this issue to my satisfaction, and I will be returning at this point. The short version is the lady on the phone was extremely rude and patronizing. This was the second time this has happened in the last few months (although it was in person last time) and so I took my money to the bank and sent the director and HR director an email voicing my concerns about their customer service. I got a very nice call less than five minutes later from the director apologizing and assuring me friendly customer service was a priority and big concern for them, and asking me to pleeeaaaaase come back! Phew. It did give me an excuse for putting off working out for one more day. Today, I'm out of excuses. About to go.

Later in the day, Todd and I were having our usual, end-of-the-day-what-are-we-doing-for-dinner conversation. He called me on the way home and said he wanted to fix the frozen chicken stir fry (yes, he does cook! And quite often, thank you very much. And buy groceries!).

He mentioned that fresh spring rolls from Panda Express sounded good. I'm not sure what he said exactly...he said, "Four? Six?" and so on. Somehow, I was under the impression that he wanted me to go by and get them on my way home from my errand.

So, 30 minutes later, I was in the drive-through at Panda Express, and decided to call him and see if we needed fried rice, too. Stir fry without fried rice=BORING! Especially when you're staring at it on the menu and it looks so good, together with the scent wafting from the back of the restaurant.

I called, my mother answered, I asked for Todd, she accidentally dropped the phone and disconnected it. I called back, my phone wouldn't work. I called back, my phone wouldn't work. I went through the drive-through, but didn't stop and went back around. Stopped at the little ordering speaker and my phone rang. It was my mom to tell me sorry about dropping the phone and that she'd get Todd. So, FINALLY...Todd got on the phone. Here was our ensuing conversation.

Me: "Do we want fried rice with the stir fry, or did it come with it?"
Todd: "It comes with rice."
Me: "Okay, I just thought I'd get it while I was here if we needed it."
Todd: "Where are you?"
Me: "Panda Express! Getting spring rolls! Duh!"
Todd: "But, I already went to Panda Express on my way home and got them, like I said I was."
Me: "Whaaaaaaaat?"

At this point, I was going to have to pull through the drive-through again. I'm behind other cars waiting for their food, and I am laughing my head off. I pulled past the speaker and waited for the other cars to leave. I'm pretty sure I could hear the employee saying, "Welcome to Panda Express! How can I help you?" in a very polite and friendly voice to the invisible car behind me.

I felt bad for them and embarrassed for me, so I stopped to explain that I had pulled through the drive-through twice without ordering because I was having a miscommunication with my husband. For their trouble, I went ahead and ordered a large (and it's so large it doesn't fit in my cupholder, let me tell you) Cranberry-Grapefruit Sobe! It was delicious.

What a day.

I'm on the top of the world lookin', down on creation...for 30 minutes too long

It all became very clear to me. I remembered why I NEVER EVER EVER NOT EVER NO NEVER ride rides that go upside down when I heard about this on the evening news.

What a Ride! Roller Coaster Traps Riders Upside Down!

Is it sick that I laughed hysterically when I saw the story? I reminded my husband to never let me ride one of these kinds of rides because I would be the one screaming my head off and panicking for the entire 30 minutes. His kind reply was, "Oh, I'd let you. I just wouldn't ride with you."

What a guy.

I get knocked down, but I get up again...

In other movie news...because I know how sick you are of hearing about Once.

Todd and I went to see Knocked Up last night. It was shhhhtupid!!!!! It was like two movies trying to be in the same movie. (Think Dumb and Dumber vs. The Last Kiss. Not so pretty.) And to think, the reviewers that gave it 5 out of 5 stars are the same ones who gave that other movie 5/5.

Go see Once. Twice.

Once bitten

I seriously haven't been this smitten with a movie since Grease in junior high school. I saw that two nights in a row.

This video shows the first part of the story--in reverse! Fun.

When a mom gets desperate, she heads to Walmart

When the girls came up with this yesterday (and yeah, Madlibs helped, but still), I knew summer was indeed here and it was time for some serious action:

Cake Recipe

For this recipe, you will need:
82 cups flour
6014 tablespoons butter
654987 cups sugar
25648 eggs
2 cups milk
2 teaspoons poop extract

In a thick bowl, beat butter and sugar until bouncy. Add eggs sickly, if you add them too stealthily, the batter won't mix well. Add milk.

When mixture is nice and pink, begin adding flour. Be sure your mixer isn't set too bumpy, or you may end up with flour all over your butt. Add the poop extract.

Pour batter into a pointy pan.

Bake for 45 minutes at 123,456,789 degrees.

Congratulations! You've just made a delicious poop-flavored cake!

So, last night, being the good mom I am, we headed off to get dinner and supplies at, oh, around 8 p.m. We trudged back in around 11 p.m. with our stomachs full of McDonald's hamburgers and fries (hey, we walked them off for hours at Walmart!). We also had three sacks full of fun and games from Ross and Walmart. Ross is a great place to find cheap, and sometimes even educational, entertainment items for bored children. The girls are now the proud owners of:

• Two beading kits (one's a little more advanced and growny-looking for Em ... Oh, 'scuse me, GROWNUP looking. I thought I was back in Alabama for a minute.)
• A Mexican Train domino game with 91!!! dominoes --when they're done playing the game, they can make those domino designs you knock down in 10 seconds after building them for HOURS. Woo hoo!)
• A story-book creating kit (which I'm sure their nephew Ian will appreciate)
• THREE dance/fitness videos (salsa, jazz, and hip-hop, and they actually use them as opposed to the adults I know who buy them **Julie looks around innocently**)
• Hmm ... a 500 piece puzzle of a cute little baby dressed in fairy wings
• An AMERICAN IDOL dvd game (Bama may get in on this one.) I heard peals of laughter coming from upstairs in the wee hours, and I have my suspicions that box got opened right away. It is unfortunate, however, that they know none of the songs. (Got ear plugs?)
• A tiny pottery wheel, complete with clay. We do have to go back for C batteries, we realized today. We forgot to check the box. I was hoping it was manual labor.
• A Mancala game, which has already gotten hours of use
• And for all I know, a partridge in a pear tree.

I did this same thing last summer and it worked pretty well ... for at least a few days it seems. This year, I told them not to open all the packages and do everything the first day. They only did half today. But, they ended up recycling those things over and over last summer, so I think it's money well spent. They also fought less for three days or so last year, which was worth the investment if nothing else. All in all, less than $75, and I bet that goes a lot further than a week of summer camp for one child for $200!

Highly recommended for parents of bored school children out for the summer everywhere.

Three Movies, Three Days

I mentioned that we watched The Painted Veil on Friday night, but I actually saw three movies, very different, over the last several days. Thursday, Gail and I saw Waitress, which I've been drooling over since the previews started showing a few months ago. It finally came to the standard theaters in our area last weekend, and we snuck out after a work meeting to watch it. I have to say my expectations weren't met with this one. I know most people watch movies simply to be entertained, but a movie usually has to stick with me for a few days or longer for me to really feel like I spent my time and money well. (As an example, Blades of Glory was not one of those, but it was still fun, Gail.)

Waitress just left me kind of empty. Other than the visions of pies that ran through my head for the next few hours, I totally forgot about it. The end was probably like it might have happened in real life, except for a few minor details, like how did the abusive husband just let her go without a fuss? Gail and I talked about how the main character (Keri Russell) was well developed and likeable, but the male character who played her doctor and secret lover...cute, but um, no apparent motivation for his actions. Weird. Anyway, it just felt "half-done," unlike the pies, which looked delicious. Sad true story, though, about how the director, who played a part in the movie, too, was murdered after the filming. Her character was really cute and unique.

The Painted Veil...I already commented on this movie in my last post, but it lingered. Scenes from the movie have drifted through my mind on more than one occasion since Friday night. It was disturbing, haunting, with gorgeous cinematography and fascinating characters. Not a feel good movie--just a good movie.

Then...there was Once. We saw this at the Angelika Saturday night with Todd's dad and stepmom, and I would quite honestly be willing to go all the way back there two or three more times to see it on the big screen while I can. Wow.

The lead, Glenn Hansard, is the lead singer for The Frames, and I really like their music so figured I would enjoy it no matter what, but this one truly lived up to the rave reviews it has gotten from local critics and Sundance festival attendees. It was breathtaking. It was rated R, but only because the Irish throw the F word around like it's money. It was simply the story of an incredible friendship and "once in a lifetime" love. There were several points during the film where I literally felt I would start crying because the music and scene were so beautiful. I also got a lump in my throat when the credits started rolling. Not the cathartic tears-streaming down-my-face-at-the-end-of-The-Notebook kind of lump—just a lump that rested there for quite a while.

There's a song from the movie in my music player, by the way. Falling Slowly. Check it out at the bottom or side of my page. You can watch a video of the two leads performing the same song here. Picture them in the film in a small music shop, sitting in front of a piano playing and singing while they're falling in love. The story is told almost completely through music, both casual, and while they're recording a CD together. You can, in fact, listen to the whole soundtrack at the movie website.

I laughed at Todd's dad at dinner later. He said, "In my opinion, that movie was damn good." I had to agree. We'll be buying the soundtrack as soon as we can, then the DVD. Run, don't walk, to the nearest theatre showing Once. I regret that my internet has been down two nights in a row and I can't post this sooner!!! I feel that strongly about it.

Movies. Love 'em. And when I love them, I really love them.

Food heaven

The chocolate fondue chips from Williams-Sonoma are scrumptious. You should rush right out and buy some. Then you should cut up strawberries, bananas, oranges, pineapple, and Granny Smith apples to dip in the chips you've melted with heavy cream. Baking a eggnog-flavored poundcake and chewy brownies to cube and dip helps, too. And marshmallows. Even mini marshallows if you forget to get the big ones. (In fact, I think they're better!)

We did this last night with good friends and it was yummy. I bought Todd some new fondue equipment for Christmas along with the WS chocolate and the WS eggnog cake mix and we finally used it. (He does do fondue--this wasn't a random gift, he made fondue for me the night he proposed. What a guy.)

We made cheese fondue for an appetizer, but had to add milk--a whole package of onion soup mix added to the cheese and beer is a litte on the strong side. Trust me on this one.

We cheated on the main course and grilled chickena and steak and veggie kebabs. Figured it was overkill to fondue five million pieces of these items individually when we could throw them on eight skewers and fire them up in about 15 minutes. :-)

We watched the Painted Veil in shifts...before and after the chocolate fondue. Good movie, a little sad, however, and a little uncomfortable as the behavior of the characters is pretty honest and true to life in spots.

Okay, we've had our high-tone cultural evening and can go back to our regularly programmed suburban life. Wait, we'll do that AFTER we go to see Once at the arthouse tonight. Ain't life grand when you can color outside the lines on occasion?