On furniture and churches

Nobody ever told me that buying custom upholstered furniture was one of the hardest things you'll ever do in life. I have finally finished placing orders for various pieces for my formal living room. Hall-luh-lu-yer. It took me two months. I am exhausted. Everyone around me is exhausted. It will probably all look ugly and mismatched when it arrives, and no one will dare say a word. Trust me.

I decided over the course of the last couple of months that buying furniture is a lot like church shopping. Every store has its own personality, and when you finally find the right one with the right stuff at the right price, you breathe a deep sigh of relief. Sometimes you end up staying at the one you might not have originally picked, but circumstances tell you it's the thing to do. Sometimes you just make a bad decision, and it takes a while for you to admit it and move on.

There are the stores that are a lot like little country churches. When you drive up, you're not sure whether or not they're still in business until you go through the door. The signs are faded and sometimes in need of repair. There are only a few cars in the parking lot, and none are very fancy or new. The grass may need to be mowed, and the walls may need a new coat of paint. When you walk in, you know you'll find the basics. Someone to greet you with a nervous smile that says, "We hope you'll stay. We don't see many new faces around here, and probably don't have what you're looking for, but c'mon in." They don't have a big selection, but what they have is practical, predictable, and won't cost you an arm and a leg.

Then there are the mega-stores. Open at both regular and unusual hours to make sure you can get there when it's convenient. A steady stream of greeters waiting at the door to escort you wherever your heart desires, but keep you from going down the wrong hall. The selection is immense. If they don't have what you want this week (doubtful), next week's offerings are sure to please, just check back often! If you dare fill out a registration slip (no pressure, they don't want to scare you off), Email and glossy ads will fill your inbox and mail box so you know they are thinking of you and noticed you were there. When you go back the next week, though, they might greet you at the door like they've never seen you before in their life. There might be that one, though, who does remember your name and asks how you've been. You might stick around after all. You can eventually slip out unnoticed if you want to. They have people to watch your kids so you can really concentrate, and free coffee and cookies. It'll cost you a little more in the long run, and you'll probably see most of the same stuff here that you'd find at any mega-store, but if you decide it's the place, you'll eventually feel a connection on whatever level you choose.

Sometimes you show up at First Baptist Furniture. There's a kind of hush all over the world when you walk through the lovely doors into the tastefully decorated foyer. Men in suits handing out professional but sedate leaflets of information stand near the interior entry way into the holy of holies, where beautifully appointed seating lies under dim, but artfully directed lighting. Soft music plays in the background. If you are underdressed, everyone is very careful to ignore it, but you are completely aware of your faux pas. Everything says "quality" and "the same yesterday as today." Some spots are cordoned off with elegant velvet rope. You know you won't be trying out those seats without a special invitation. Someone will definitely talk to you, because you are an honored guest. They might, however, ask you questions that make you wriggle uncomfortably as you become aware of your lack of prior knowledge regarding their product and start to question your financial ability to meet the minimum requirements of hanging around here for long.

Finally, if you're like me, there is that place that is "just right." It's not too big, and not too crowded, and there are plenty of comfortable spots to hang for a while and check things out. The selection is eclectic. There are things you think are really cool and things that make you raise an eyebrow, but don't cause you to run away shrieking. The manager seems really down to earth. When you go home, you often smile when you recall some detail about your most recent visit. After a stopping by a time or two, it's kind of like Cheers—everybody knows your name. They think your kids are cute, but they also expect them to behave and not tear things up. They'll try hard to please, but recognize that the final choice is yours and respect it. Your decision to buy is sealed with a handshake or a happy dance—whatever your heart desires. The commitment might be a little out of your comfort zone, but you figure you can handle it. Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours. You might be disappointed on occasion, but you figure it's par for the course when you're dealing with human beings.

I'm sure there are lots of places in between and each one has its own body of believers who feel like they are at home. I have been a member of lots of different kinds of churches. They all have their good and not-so-good points. With a few exceptions here and there, they all really believe in their product. My church and my furniture store are somewhere in between mega, and "just right." We are happy, comfortable, and tired of shopping.

Overheard in Austin

We spent a long weekend in Austin with the kids taking in some of the public music events that were part of the SXSW conference. We also paid a lot of money to see Nickel Creek at Gruene Hall! That was a great concert. Gruene Hall is a really unique venue to see a concert. We saw the Old 97s there last summer and I had been wanting to get back for something else when I saw Nickel Creek on the schedule. We have been listening to them for several years and trying to get to a concert, so this was ideal! More on that maybe later. First, I have to share a little story before I forget it.

Heather recently sent me the web address for Overheard in New York, which is a pretty obnoxious, but mostly hilarious blog where people write in with conversations they overhear in, you guessed it, New York. Beware, it is not for the faint of heart...especially today, I noticed.

Anyway, I always intend to write down stuff I hear but usually forget. I've started carrying index cards and a pen with me everywhere, and also have them strategically placed here and there where I might be struck with writer's inspiration at the urging of Anne Lamott, my new best friend (haha), in her book, Bird by Bird. I recommend that book to anyone who has ever considered writing as a career or just as a passion. It's, again, not for the faint of heart, but has literally changed the way I think about writing and, in fact, life recently. The subtitle is even Some Instructions on Writing and Life. I've just read everything by her I can get my hands on lately. Traveling Mercies is another favorite.

So, we were in Austin at a vintage guitar store and I needed to use the restroom, so I asked if they had a public one. The store consisted of two long skinny rooms, one neat and organized and really the "sales floor" and the other side messy and piled up everywhere. The restroom was at the back of this other room and you had to go through the one small door in the middle to get there. I had noticed a cute little girl, maybe four years old, wandering around. She was obviously very familiar with the place, maybe the owner's daughter. She wasn't obnoxious or getting into anything, just wandering around quietly. She was behind me as I went through the door in the middle. There was a guy up on a tall ladder just on the other side of the doorway working on something up high on the ceiling or wall. As I got a few steps further into the messy room, I heard him say to the little girl, "Hey, big girl." She just kept wandering and didn't pause as she responded, "Hey, stupid."

I was cracking up. If she had been one of those other kinds of kids, you know the ones you want to volunteer to spank for the parents who never corrected them, I might have been shocked and appalled, but honestly, it was just funny and the kind of laugh I was in need of.

Was Capote a Sheep?

Last Friday, Todd and I went to see one of the Academy Award nominated films—Capote. I figured it would be interesting at least to me because it is the story of the five years it took Truman Capote to write In Cold Blood, a novel based on the murders of three members of a family in Kansas in 1959 in a robbery gone wrong. As a writer, anything having to do with "the craft" is interesting to me, especially this year as I am really delving into learning how to improve my writing and seriously pursue it both as a career and a passion.

The movie was fascinating on several levels. Philip Seymour Hoffman was amazing. It was the kind of movie where you walk out saying, "Wow. That was a good movie. I think." At the same time, it is depressing and not uplifting. Reminds me a little of The Road to Perdition, although that movie had a more redeeming message in the end.

First, I was somewhat surprised that it did not get any of the publicity Brokeback Mountain has gotten on the political front—at least not that I've heard. Truman Capote was apparently also gay, and one subplot of the movie deals with his relationship with his significant other as well as hints at the possibility that he fell in love with Perry Smith, the convicted murderer he developed a relationship with as he wrote the novel. Todd said he thought it was because it was not what the movie was "about," whereas the overriding theme of Brokeback Mountain was homosexuality. I personally thought there were a lot of other themes in Brokeback Mountain, and that the homosexuality plot just took center stage. Anyway, enough about that, that's not really what this is about.

Before we went to the movie, I read the quick blurb about it in the Star-Telegram's movie page. The reviewer said it was a film that gave the viewer just enough information to leave them analyzing it, which was totally accurate. Being an analytical person (to a fault, most of my closest friends and family members tell me), this movie was a feast! One scene that was particularly riveting was when Capote describes Smith to someone. I think it was Nelle Harper Lee (yep, he was friends with the author of To Kill a Mockingbird). Capote says, "It's as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he went out the back door and I went out the front."

This quote stuck with me as Todd and I talked about the movie afterwards. It was a really profound statement to me about choices. Yes, we all have circumstances that may influence how we turn out, but in the end, two people with the exact same circumstances may have completely different lives because of the choices they make. It was as though Capote was saying, "There but by the grace of God go I." That was basically the premise of the novel, as far as I can tell without having actually read it. He wanted to prove to the world that this monster who had committed a horrendous crime was still at the core human. It's unclear what his motives were—to show this or to write the world's greatest novel, because he was such an arrogant person and knew that it would bring him much fame and riches. Strangely, the postscript notes that it was the last novel he published and he eventually died as a result of drug abuse and alcoholism, so it must have affected him in ways he never expected.

In another scene, Capote goes to visit Perry's sister, Rose. She shows him a family photo album and tells him he can keep it because she doesn't have any use for it anymore. She is obviously done with Perry and wants no reminders of him in her life. Capote carries it to Perry and tells him it is a gift from Rose—that she wanted him to have it. Perry lights up in the possibility that Rose, the most important person in his life as a child, still cares about him. Here goes the analytical mind. Your first thought is, "What a jerk! He lied to him!" Then, you think, "Wait. Is this an act of compassion or selfishness?" You find yourself unable to answer this question, because either answer could be true. Capote knows he will get more out of Perry because he has given him hope. Or…perhaps Capote really did want to give him hope. Who can know?

Finally, one other scene sticks out in my mind. Capote befriends Perry Smith and begins to visit him in jail in order to learn the whole story of the murders. For five years, he goes to see him, taking him aspirin or other items he needs. After Perry is transferred to the state prison to await his execution, he goes on a hunger strike. When Capote is finally convinces the warden to allow him to visit Perry, he begins to feed him and pours sips of water into his mouth while Perry lies weak in his bunk, and eventually nurses him back to health. Again, it is unclear whether he wanted to save him simply out of compassion, or because he needed to get his story. The scene was moving, but had more meaning to me later in the weekend. Sunday, our pastor started a new series on the book we're going to be studying as a church—God is Closer Than You Think. Part of the message was based on the scripture Matthew 25:31-46 (NIV):

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Then he will say to those on his left, "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."

They also will answer, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?"

He will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

Now, I certainly don't have the right or ability to judge Truman Capote on the basis of whether or not he had the "right stuff" to dwell with God for eternity. The message brought home to me was that there are people out there who are doing the things that God commands us to do, whatever their motives may be, pure or otherwise, while many if not most of us "Christians" are sitting on our duffs debating whether or not The Book of Daniel should be shown on television, or whether we should boycott Brokeback Mountain, Disney products, Colgate toothpaste, or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…or whatever the moral-offender-of-the-day happens to be.

Hmm. Hello.

Good movie, much food for thought!